Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who have a newborn, an infant, a toddler, a preschooler, a school age child, a middle-schooler, a teenager, a college student, any kind of 20 something, a grown child, a married child, a child thinking about having a child, and those children who have lamented they’ll never have a child. Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who lost a child, lost a baby, lost an older child, lost a grown child, and may have lost their way.
Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who know just what they are doing and Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who feel they do not. Happy Mother’s Day to the mom who can nurse her baby at happy hour with 10 friends and Happy Mother’s Day to the mom who hasn’t found her crew yet. Happy Mother’s Day to the loud mom who can talk about her loneliness and Happy Mother’s Day to the quiet mom who cannot. Happy Mother’s Day to the mom who feels too young and the mom who feels too old…to the one who looks great so soon and the one who will need 20 years to firm up the baby weight.
Happy Mother’s Day to the moms with the easy kids and the moms with the more challenging kids. Happy Mother’s Day to the mom who’s child or children are serving in the military and deployed overseas in dangerous areas. Happy Mother’s Day to the mom who’s child is away at college and isn’t calling enough. Happy Mother’s Day to the mom who wanted to take off work and be at school with their child today for special celebrations and couldn’t be. Happy Mother’s Day to the moms with availability and energy and plain good hearts who cover for all of us at one point or another during this journey.
Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who are failing in small ways daily and yet succeeding on the whole. Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who’s husbands travel or work long hours. Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who travel and work long hours. Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who adopted and waited and waited for their special miracle. Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who do it alone. Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who teach my children and take care of my children and feed my children and make my children feel comfortable in their homes.
Happy Mother’s Day to my friends and my clients and my mother-in-law and my own mom. I’ve experienced so many moments in motherhood when I felt extremely lost. And I’ve experienced as many moments when I felt so proud of myself and immensely supported by many people. I’ve felt lonely at times and I’ve felt both unfit for being a working mother and a mother working. I’ve felt desperate for answers and guidance and I’ve learned to be a force in getting those answers and guidance. I’ve turned to writing to make sense of much of it and I’ve turned inward to contemplate challenges of mothering that came with no warning. And then I turn to my children to see I’m doing ok.
Today, I got to go into my kindergartener’s classroom and cover things while the teachers enjoyed a much deserved luncheon. I was reading “Rosie Revere, Engineer” and began to feel a bit emotional. We’ve faced moments of uncertainty in parenting our youngest one. And I’ve not always had the patience or knowledge of how to handle her needs. But, what I’ve learned as a mother is that you do not give up. You research, you talk to people, you listen to your instincts, your listen to your child’s instincts and you just hope that some combination of time and effort will bring satisfaction, knowing somethings have to be accepted and not solved. And many times that acceptance leads to the deepest kind of love.
I was thinking this morning about how kind the universe has been. That we’ve asked the questions and asked for help and stated our concerns and that the universe has given us all of these great people who have given our daughter just what she needs. The universe has brought me so much joy in motherhood. Joy is not easy and joy is not always daily happiness. Joy is not perfection and joy is not just good luck. To me, joy is a mindset of satisfaction, gratitude, and delight that I am always chasing. As mothers it does not come easy some days and just as they say the days are long but the years are short I think the opposite is true of the joy we find in mothering, on the whole. Joy doesn’t stay with us all day long or ask anything of us. Joy is something we find over a period of time when we see not only our children growing into good people but when we can thank the universe for helping answer our questions or satiate our needs or just give us a giant hammock on which to rest our weary body and nerves. Moms are good to each other. We need each other. We need all types of us. And because the universe has been so kind to me as a mom, I want to thank the universe of moms I know and those I do not and say Happy Mother’s Day.